


Flappy Bird

by Tokomi



Category: Cabin Pressure, Flappy Bird (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 20:59:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1200363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokomi/pseuds/Tokomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That game is so popular that everyone knows about it! Even our little lovely cabin crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flappy Bird

**Douglas** : So quiet, so peaceful...  
**Martin** : Even Arthur isn't bothering us today.  
**Douglas** : And the weather is perfect. It seems too good to be true. And if something seems too good to be true...  
**Martin** : It probably _is_. I know Murphy's laws well. Even too well. But seriously, is Arthur on deck for sure? Maybe he stayed on the ground?  
**Douglas** : He brought us morning coffee, remember? And since then we've been in the air all the time. So he must be on deck unless he jumped out with a parachute.  
**Martin** : Right. Right. But he's been unbelievably quiet. I wonder if he's all right.  
**Douglas** : Oh, now you're anxious about him, captain?  
**Martin** : Yes. ...I mean no! I'm not his babysitter! ...well okay, I'm a bit worried, because... he's _Arthur_.  
**Douglas** : I see your point - if he _did_ something on a plane, we aren't safe either.  
**Martin** : Exactly! Especially when Carolyn finds out what happened to her beloved plane... or son. So... Shall I go and check?  
**Douglas** : I truly appreciate your enormous enthusiasm but we can simply use the intercom.  
**Martin** : Oh. Oh right.  
( _Intercom on_.)  
**Martin** : Hello Arthur, is everything all right?  
**Arthur** : ( _over intercom_ ) Hi chaps, yes, why it shouldn't be?  
**Douglas** : Oh, without reason. Just the captain was missing you.  
**Martin** : Shut up, Douglas! As a captain, I have to take care of the cabin crew. And we haven't heard from you since morning coffee.  
**Arthur** : You were worried if I'm okay? Thanks, Skip, that's nice, but as you can see... well obviously you _can't_ because we're talking through the intercom and you can't _see_ me but you can _hear_ me and I'm saying that everything is fine.  
**Martin** : Umm, well, tha-that's good, I guess...  
**Douglas** : And may I ask - what's that beeping in the background?  
**Arthur** : Oh, I'm playing a game on my mobile phone. You know, Flappy bird.  
**Douglas** : Nope, I don't. And I wonder if I even _want_ to know.  
**Arthur** : Come on, it's absolutely brilliant! It's so popular that everybody knows about it!  
**Martin** : I haven't heard about it either. But I'm not into games, well, unless they're about flying.  
**Arthur** : It IS about flying, that's why it's so brilliant! But there are no planes, just a bird. And it's a _really_ hard game, it may be impossible! You must play it!  
**Douglas** : Impossible, you say? Well, after landing we will have to wait an hour for cargo to be loaded, so I think it's not such a bad way to kill some time.  
**Arthur** : Brilliant! So see you- oh no, I've hit the first pipe again. Bye!  
**Martin** : Bye!  
( _intercom off_ )  
**Douglas** : Feeling better, captain?  
**Martin** : ( _sign of relief_ ) Yes, thanks.  
**Douglas** : Fancy playing anything? I believe we've got about 20 minutes to landing. Or do you prefer enjoying this marvellous peace quietly?  
( _brief silence_ )  
**Martin** : _Would you rather?_  
**Douglas** : It's like you were reading my mind.

* * *

( _Flight deck door opens._ )  
**Arthur** : Hi chaps! Who wants to play first?  
**Martin** : I'll skip, I'm _terrible_ at playing games but I like to watch others playing.  
**Arthur** : Oh, come on, Skip! Just try! Here.  
**Martin** : Okay, only once. What am I supposed to do?  
**Arthur** : You have to tap the screen of the mobile to make this bird fly and it must go not too high and not too low, so it can avoid touching green pipes because birds don't like touching pipes, because when they do it's a game over but I don't really understand it because I've never seen a real bird touching big green pipe, actually I've never seen a real big green pipe...  
**Martin** : Thanks, Arthur, I think I'll get it myself.  
**Douglas** : Now I understand why they call it "impossible".  
( _game beeping_ )  
**Martin** : I've told you I'm no good, I haven't even passed through the first pipe!  
**Arthur** : Don't give up so fast, try again!  
**Martin** : Okay, I think I'm getting it... no, I'm not. Three. Last time.  
**Arthur** : You can do it!  
**Martin** : ( _incredulously_ ) ...oh. Wow. _Eleven_.  
**Arthur** : Brilliant! You're really great! Maybe you'll beat my high score!  
**Martin** : No, thanks, it was just... blind luck. There's no way I'll score more.  
**Douglas** : And what's your high score, Arthur?  
**Arthur** : Twenty-one! I've been playing for 5 days.  
**Douglas** : So, it's my turn now, I suppose? Let's check which one of us is a _better_ pilot, shall we?  
**Martin** : Douglas, we both know that you'll win. I'm jinxed and have no gaming skills at all. And a mobile game can't prove if you're a good pilot.  
**Douglas** : Well, if you can steer an aeroplane, you should be able to steer a bird as well.  
**Martin** : Just try it yourself.  
( _game beeping_ )  
**Douglas** : I see, controlling is quite easy. Well, after a bit of practice scoring fifty should be a piece of cake.  
**Arthur** : Wow, you really want to get fifty? It would be brilliant!  
**Martin** : I want to see it.  
**Arthur** : Already twelve?! Chaps, you're really, really brilliant! I couldn't get more than 5 for two days!  
**Douglas** : And I'm just warming up.

* * *

( _game beeping_ )  
**Martin** : Douglas, enough playing, you'll discharge Arthur's phone!  
**Douglas** : Don't worry, he said he has a loader here and a second battery.  
**Martin** : You won't even eat anything?  
**Douglas** : Too busy. Now, please, can you stop distracting me?  
**Martin** : Yes, I'm _terribly_ sorry I've diverted you from such a _serious_ business! (quietly to himself with satisfaction) That means more Brie for me.  
**Douglas** : ( _not listening_ ) Yes, twenty-two! Just a little more...

* * *

 **Martin** : Douglas, get out!  
**Douglas** : What? Why? Why are you shouting at me?  
**Martin** : Because when I'm talking, you don't listen. We've LANDED and you haven't noticed!  
**Douglas** : _Of course_ I've noticed, I'm good at multitasking. But I knew you can manage it yourself.  
**Martin** : ( _impatiently_ ) Oh, let's just already go home. And give poor Arthur's phone back!

* * *

 **Carolyn** : Douglas, you're late as always but you never look _that_ horrible! What happened yesterday, haven't you slept at all?  
**Martin** : Hello, Douglas, what's going on?  
**Douglas** : It's all because of that stupid game and the bloody bird! I played it all night and broke my phone!  
**Arthur** : Flappy Bird is _not_ stupid! But how did you get it? I heard it was deleted from the store...  
**Douglas** : You can find everything on the internet, more or less legally.  
**Martin** : Well, at the end it really showed who is a _better_ pilot and comes to work being fit to fly.  
**Arthur** : If I may ask, how much was your last high score?  
**Douglas** : Come on, it doesn't really matter now.  
**Martin** : You've beaten me and Arthur already, you won anyway. So?  
**Douglas** : ( _grimly_ ) ...forty-nine.


End file.
